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White Tassle

Today is 5.19.02, the time is 1:26 p.m.

I'm doing the only things that seem to make sense--drinking too much caffiene and singing along to this:

I'm leaving all I know behind.
I'm leaving only dusty outlines.
in place of this place I've loved to pieces.

I'm leaving all the lakes behind
where the sweetest soul singer came to die.
Does somebody know if the lethal blow was the impact or the cold?

I've been a lost soul before.
I've left all I've loved before.
When lost souls stay, just one more day, so far away, it's lovely.

--Rainer Maria

My house is quiet after a weekend of guests and killing off the brain cells we're celebrating. My life is quiet.

It's unsettling.

I'm so very thankful for the support I've gotten from my family and friends these past four years. Frank is the best sweetheart, my personal cheering section.

I wish I was more cheerful. The ceremony froze me. It was not the impact, but the cold. The thousands of names, blank faces, black gowns, crossing the stage with me. The list is long; it falls off the lips like you're chanting. I'm mesmerized, but I'm listless. One more black gown. One more white tassle.

And yet I still am smiling on the cusp of tears. It's indescribable.

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