Time is moving so quickly, I've thought it was April instead of May.
Maybe this May has been so much different that last May that I can't believe it could be the same month of the year.
Last May, I decided that my family was crazy. That I was crazy. It was a bizarre sort of liberating feeling, not unlike the enjoyable curse of underemployment. I faced that, too, see.
Now I'm used to the insanity. My underemployment has been replaced by working full-time with people even crazier than those already in my life. Sometimes I forget the residents where I work are insane. And then they remind and then some.
It was my sister's graduation from law school instead of my graduation from college this May. My little sister is again making a move this May, but instead of a crack house, she's moving in with a pot dealer. I think she might be moving up in the world a little. My grandmother's less confused, my mom's less manic, and my dad gets naked now instead of violently angry. And me, I'm less into the counter-transference these days. I'm less about compulsive lying and listing and forming new nasty habits.
I'm more about boredom and nail-biting.
These days I'm feeling like there's more to say. These days I'm also saying less here and elsewhere.
These days, the headrush is now just a slow craving--I smoke more and feel less.